One of the greatest things that has helped me on my journey is forgiveness. Not just for the people who have ‘hurt’ me, but also for myself.
Forgiveness is not about condoning bad behaviour, but about allowing yourself to be free from a situation or person that has ‘wronged’ you.
(Something I spoke to a friend about this morning, was how we take the issues from the past and transfer them to someone else, because we haven’t done the forgiveness work.)
Forgiveness allows you to create space in your heart for more love, peace and joy, by removing the hurt, sadness and grief, the anger and resentment.
Forgiveness allows us to operate at a higher vibration, rather than being trapped in a low vibration, or being more susceptible to being brought down to someone elses low vibration.
I didn’t understand this to begin with. I felt like forgiving someone was letting them off the hook, sometimes for incredible wrong doing.
But I was wrong.
Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves, and also another.
That’s what it means to crack your heart open and do the healing work, rather than skim over the event and consciously move past it. Surrendering and opening your heart, means you can step into and out of it fully, with true forgiveness.
The mantra I live by is: you love the soul, you forgive the humanness. Something I learnt the hard way. When I first had that mantra pop into my head, it was like I had awakened to a truth that I had always known, but never knew.
I realised I didn’t want the burden of the hurt to weigh my heart down any longer.
So when I was doing any deep healing work, I allowed moments, people, events to surface, and forgive them all in the process. And for someone who has an incredible memory (some would probably say I have an eidetic memory), there was a lot to forgive.
But the biggest lesson was in learning to forgive myself. For some things I had done, and for things that I had allowed to happen to me. Forgiving myself for staying when I should have left. Saying yes, when I should have said no. And the wrong doing that I put on others.
Forgiving myself for bringing my past into present situations and taking it out on the wrong person.
Owning up to my mistakes and forgiving them with the same compassion I would have for the person I love most in this world.
Forgiveness is out way out of the shadows, it’s the way to see ourselves clearly.
Forgiveness also allows us to move forward with less weight in our heart and soul, and therefore be able to attract greater things into our lives.
And sometimes there are no words that ever need to be said. Forgiveness can come in silent moments. Forgiving someone without them ever knowing. Or it can come after hard conversations.
I remember one of the conversations I had with someone last year who hurt me deeply. We finally spoke about everything, how I felt, and why I let it go on for so long. And then a deep healing through forgiveness came. Both for myself and the other.
Sometimes the conversation is a great catalyst for learning, sometimes forgiveness is the teacher on its own.
I have chosen moments when a conversation is needed, and times when a silent moment is the best path forward.
Forgiveness then leads us to compassion, which in turn leads us to love.
No matter how it happens, forgiveness is the path to freedom, to a more joyful, loving and peaceful life.
If you are feeling stuck, practicing forgiveness could be your key to moving forward in your life.