For years I spent my life running away from the darkness. Playing hide and seek, tag you’re it. Always trying to out run the darkness that had overwhelmed me at different times in my life.
I had done all the healing work, I had focused on all the amazing things in my life, I had acknowledged and released my ‘stuff’. And I had chased it away, for weeks, for months, sometimes for years. But there, like an old friend, it would always reappear when I least expected it.
It wasn’t until I decided to truly embrace the darkness, that I began to heal and see the light. Completely. Eyes wide open, saw the light and beauty in the world. Sitting across from your darkness like you would a friend or a lover; and looking with deep love and compassion into its core. Not turning away, seeking only to see the light; but being comfortable seeing the pain for what it is, what it was, what it taught you, what it still has left to teach you.
Because in those moments, that is where the magic is held.
Many people will see this as a bizarre concept. I mean, I have spent years teaching about natural ways to heal from mental health issues, from the darkness. We have been told so many times that we can’t let the darkness win, we can’t go into the darkness.
But when I started on my epic healing journey that started this year, I decided to embrace the darkness, in order to move through it completely. It was through working with tantra, cacao, sound meditation, deep soul work, that I found the gift that could come when we embrace the darkness that sits in all of us.
I learnt to do the shadow work. To sit in the pain that had kept trying to catch up with me, to feel it fully, in order to release it completely. And that is where I found the beauty that pain could bring. Finding the beauty in every experience.
I remember the first time I did mirror work, sitting across from myself, literally, looking into a mirror and learning to embrace all of me. The first time I did eye gazing with a friend, I felt so confronted by it, sitting in silence, looking into the soul of another, feeling truly seen. That’s the attention we need to bring to our own darkness. Seeing it through the eyes of love, acknowledging it, allowing it to be fully present in our lives, so it can feel its completion and let go of its grip on us.
The lesson though is, not to let it consume you. Not to let it overtake your life. But to feel it to its capacity, and then let it go. So what do you do when the darkness threatens to overtake you, to overwhelm you, to overshadow the light? How do you begin to navigate your way back from that space, with the healing or learning intact? With your soul still intact.
This is not the easiest thing for people to do. It requires a commitment to the work, to getting to the deep healing. But, fuck, the results are worth it.
The lightness in your soul is worth it.
The freedom you feel in your life is worth it.
The love you feel in your heart space is worth it.
I will put up a little post about doing the healing work soon as well…
All I can say is that doing the work, embracing the darkness without letting it consume you, and healing on a deeper level are gifts that we can all experience. I hope this resonates with some of you, and maybe help lead you to your deepest healing and transformation.
*Disclaimer: if you are struggling with mental health issues and need support, I urge you to contact your GP, naturopath, or call a support helpline (such as Lifeline). There is help out there for everyone.