The fear to change your life

You can change your life in an instant. The moment you decide. For me it took 3 week. I had 3 weeks holidays after Christmas. My first real break in years, and allowing myself 3 weeks was HUGE. All the what ifs kept playing in my mind, but I made the commitment to stop and not work. The first week was pretty much a write off, with so much stuff going on with family and friends, and some cleaning etc. to do. I didn’t have time to think.

And then it hit me. I was writing my vision and goals for 2018, when I realised I was writing someone else’s goals. Yes they were my goals, but they weren’t ‘mine’! Have you ever had that feeling?

I sat in a state of panic and fear. Frustrated with this uncertainty that I couldn’t put my finger on. This is what I should want, should be doing, should be working on.

And some questions suddenly appeared (and yes I mean that literally. Questions just appeared in my mind out of nowhere – but we all know they weren’t from nowhere, don’t we)

– How am I living?

– How am I being of service and how am I giving back?

– What am I holding onto that no longer serves me?

– Where do I need more grace in my life?

– Am I happy?

Not exactly easy questions to hear or answer. But it made me sit up and look at my life and see where I was coming from a place of fear and frustration or from joy, growth and expansion.

Those questions changed my life. I sat with my intuition and just breathed. I breathed new life into my vision and goals, new life into where I was at and what I truly wanted in my life.

And I got clear. So fucking clear I could hardly believe it. My life was kind of playing out before my eyes, what I truly wanted and how I wanted to live.

I have lived my life unbalanced for so long- too much work, not enough living.

That moment, which was around an hour, changed my life. I was on a path that didn’t fit my soul anymore. So I decided to change. Get rid of what no longer served me, both personally and professional. Let go of past hurt that no longer needed to be present in my life. Let go of other people’s expectations and realities.

And a freedom was born. The freedom to be myself. Completely. Authentically.

No longer needing to fit inside a box to make others happy.

Do you know what I realised?! I was wearing pants almost every day to work (and even in my life). Somehow along the way thought I ‘should’ be wearing pants to do body work. When I have worked for other people, mainly in an office, I have generally worn dresses and skirts etc, but working for myself… When did that happen?! I never felt the need before, and yet somewhere I changed. And do you know what…I HATE wearing pants! Especially to work. So I decided I’m not going to anymore, unless I truly feel like it.

It’s amazing the tricks our mind can play on us. What we feel like we should be doing with our lives to make others feel comfortable, only in the process to make yourself feel, well, not like you anymore. How do we get to that point?

So to hell with all of the ‘should’ in your life. Stop, take a breath, and listen to what your intuition is telling you. Live the life you were always meant to live, and don’t let other people’s fears and expectations become your own.

We only have one life, so make it count.

And, as I said, you can change your life, literally, in an instant. Sometimes the changes need to take place over time, but the truth is there. As long as that is our guide, you can take your time. I know I can’t change everything overnight, but there are things we can change and do daily. And honestly, some stuff truly has to be changed overnight! You know it does. I have huge changes in my business coming up, some I can do overnight and others need to be put in place over time. But the truth I feel within me, guiding me, knows that is the right way to do it. Following that truth, you can’t go wrong.

So go within. Take a breath. And ask:

– How am I living?

– How am I being of service and how am I giving back?

– What am I holding onto that no longer serves me?

– Where do I need more grace in my life?

– Am I happy?

– Is this the life I want to live?

(image via shutterstock)

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