The Gift of De-Armouring
The Gift of De-Armouring
One of the greatest practices I ever learnt was de-armouring.
De-armouring is the practice of releasing somatic trauma in the yoni (which encompasses the entire sexual centre and reproductive system in women) and in the entire sexual centre/reproductive system in men.
Today I am focusing on the yoni for women.
Somatisation, is essentially buried trauma within the body (I will talk more about that in another post). Ever single part of the body can hold and store trauma from this lifetime, or past lifetimes. The body remembers and holds everything.
We work on somatisation in body work sessions, in shadow work, and in nearly every event I run, there is some form of somatic releasing. Stuck trauma keeps our energy from flowing freely within the body.
Think about your neck. When your neck is feeling tight and stuck, there is limited movement, limited feeling (except maybe pain), the energy doesn’t flow freely, and we can get headaches, eye aches, feel flat and lethargic.
Now imagine that is in your yoni. (And for those who don’t know what the Yoni is – in Sanskrit it’s the sacred temple, where the divine is honoured. The passage for all life and creation. It encompasses the entire sexual centre of the woman).
Our Yoni holds tension and trauma, just like any other part of the body. And in some cases it is the seat of trauma. We first experience trauma in our root chakra at a young age, generally between the ages of 1 and 3. For many people there is anal trauma from toilet training, yoni trauma from shaming. And one of the most overlooked, yet one of the most important spaces, is the perineum. The perineum, for many people, is the seat of their trauma. This can come from shame, abandonment, or trauma as children. It can also come from child birth, shame and sexual encounters as adults.
When I do healing work, some of the most powerful shifts come from releasing the perineum. It can be heavy, dark energy, but once it’s cleared, there is more flow in our Yoni.
De-armouring is about releasing all of this trauma, stuck energy and shame from our Yoni, so that we can experience more pleasure, more energetic flow and a happier life overall.
So how do we begin the practice of de-armouring?
Here is my guide for a gentle approach to de-armouring.
- Firstly, never begin a de-armouring practice when you are in a state of anger, frustration, resentment.
- I advise that you do a heart opening meditation first, to connect to your heart space, which then allows your Yoni to open and soften. Cacao can be a great tool to help you drop in to your heart space.
- Once you feel ready, you can begin by massaging your yoni. If you feel resistance, keep focusing on your heart space. If you feel any areas of your body tighten, breathe in to them, and allow them to soften and surrender. A lot of people find that their jaw can tighten with de-armouring work (or even with self-pleasure or sexual connection with a partner). That because the jaw and the pelvis are directly linked. The jaws holds similar tension as the Yoni.
- De-armouring can be done with your hands, however, my personal preference is to use Yoni wands to help. These allow for more control, and deeper work.
- Use a lubricant of choice (my favourite is either coconut oil or this sex oil) and gently begin massaging your whole Yoni. Allow yourself to surrender and breathe.
- Now using either your hand or wand of choice, begin exploring for any tight areas. I always advise starting with the perineum. Using the wand to gentle press into the perineum, and breathe in and out slowly, until you feel it begin to release.
- This is not a self-pleasure practice (although it may bring about an orgasm). This is a practice for releasing tension. So take your time, and allow the muscles to soften before moving on to the next part.
- You may only get a few points to release in a session, and that’s ok. You may try for 5 minutes and find it too much on your first session. For anyone who has experienced trauma, you may find resistance in doing this work. Just continue to soften your breathe and drop into your heart.
- Explore the external aspects of your Yoni, as well as internal. Allow yourself to feel into the tension, asking what emotional block is resting under the physical tension.
- Continue to work for as long as is comfortable.
- When you feel like you have finished your session, come back to your heart and breathe deeply for 10 rounds of breath.
- Notice what comes up. Maybe you would like to journal afterwards. Make yourself a cup of tea, or have a bath. Whatever feels good to you.
When I first started doing de-armouring, I felt so much resistance. I felt the shame, the guilt, the trauma. I felt the fear and so many blocks. But I continued to surrender to the process. I still remember the day when I felt like my entire Yoni let go. It was the most powerful, gorgeous, intense, scary moment I had experienced with this type of work. And since then I have never looked back!
Self-pleasure and De-armouring are two practices that really changed the way I connected to myself and the world. They changed the way I related in relationships, they increased the level of intimacy I could experience with another.
I have tried many wands for de-armouring, but here is a run down of my favourites.
Black Obsidian Black Hive Wand – black obsidian is an amazing crystal for trauma work. The shape and curve of this wand allows for control and a great top end for trigger point work. This would be my recommendation for starting the de-armouring process.
The Rose Quartz Fleur Wand – is similar to the Hive Wand, but using rose quartz. If you are intimidated by black obsidian, or you no longer need to do the deeper trauma work, the rose quartz is perfect for regular Yoni de-armouring, to keep your energy flowing with love.
Black Obsidian Shadow Wand or Kuro Curve Wand– these have a larger width, but slightly less control for trigger point work. For me, it depends on the day.
Sacred Squirter – this is the only non-crystal wand I use. It’s made of glass, but it’s incredible for doing different de-armouring work. The dots on the top of the wand are great for both internal and external work (we hold a lot of tension on the outside of our vagina). The handle is great for easy use. When I started using the Sacred Squirter, I found that there were areas I hadn’t been able to release with the other wands. I recommend starting with a smaller wand to start with, so that you can find and release the finer areas that are holding tension, and then use the Sacred Squirter for deeper work when you are ready.
But any wand you feel drawn to is the right one for you to use!
I hope this helps you feel more confident in beginning a de-armouring practice.
If you want to dive deeper into this work, check out my upcoming events where we explore Sacred Sexuality, Self-Pleasure, De-Armouring and so much more. The Embody The Divine Feminine is on this Friday, where we will be going over it all – including the Heart/Yoni connection for deeper pleasure and trauma release.
from one sacred rebel to another, I encourage you to become your own sacred healer,